The Mood in Our Family

Today I am reflecting on how I effect the mood in our family. I used to downplay this because I am only one member of our family, and together we create the mood or atmosphere. This is true too, however, it didn't take me long to notice that the mood in my family ripples most strongly from me. Sort of daunting, and then when I look at it differently, it's empowering.

Right now, all three children are at school; the third being my 16yr old niece who is staying with us. My daughter is in middle school, and my son and niece are in high school. My husband is at work and our two puppies are napping. The house is quiet. This is when I have time to do something to set the mood for later, when we come back together.

It's time for me to "reset" our home - meaning doing things like cleaning, laundry, and planning the evening activities. I feel more relaxed and at ease when our home is "reset". When I am relaxed, I can focus on our family when we come back together.

Having our home "reset" really helps me to relax which then improves our family harmony. Anyone that knows me knows that I really do NOT LIKE housework. Not at all. And yet, I am seeing it differently now. It's in the little things, like putting a new bar of soap in the shower that wasn't replaced, as well as the big things like laundry, dishes and vacuuming up the continuous mounds of puppy hair, that help "reset" our home.

When our home is "reset" and I am relaxed, I can check in with my family and really focus on what they want to share. I discovered I am most relaxed when our home is "reset". When I am distracted, I barely check in and then things seem "off". It has become obvious that the different moods in our family are rippling from me. It's actually been pretty cool to see...especially when I make the effort to be relaxed!

Each member of my family has a bazillion things going on while we were apart. All the ins and outs of middle high school and high school can be overwhelming. All the ins and outs of our jobs can be overwhelming. All the ins and outs of having and training two six month old puppies can be overwhelming too!! I want to create a soft place for the family to land. It's what motivates me to plug in the vacuum cleaner and unload the dishwasher!

What is it like when your family comes together? Spend the next few days or so watching what happens. Email me some of your ideas that help you set the family mood in your home.

Here is the book I
want you to get your hands on.

Truly. It's a good one.

Mary Sheedy Kurcinka
hits the nail on the head!

Being a parent is an amazing journey filled with joys and challenges along the way. We learn as we go, with each day bringing opportunity after opportunity to make an impact on our children.


Designing parenting solutions is an exciting part of my life. Over the past 12 years, I have supported many families. I enjoy empowering and advising parents, designing what fits best for them.


The basic foundation to my parenting style and my advice is respect. Respect for your child, respect for you, and respect for your situation. There are many parenting "solutions" that become more effective when they are "designed" to fit your family. I can help with designing those solutions. My advice is practical and easy to implement. The results are exciting to watch!


Most situations that are presented to me involve a process of pulling away the layers to get to the core of what is going on for everyone involved; the child and the parent. Once the layers are identified, it becomes easier to design a plan to move through the situation. This process is exciting and the changes for families are powerful.

I want a place for you to come for the support you may need. Many parents I have met have bounced around the idea of having a small group gather to support one another while I facilitate. I am very open to this idea, yet it seems with everyone's schedules the time and place to meet has been difficult to plan. It's 2008, why not try a blog? I have also created an email address for you to use if blogging isn't your thing. parentsolutionsbydesign@yahoo.com

One way or another, I am here and would love to support you as you grow in your awareness and experience as a parent.